Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I'm still here.

I'm in a state of flux.

The boys are fine. I'm fine. I work from home part time.

We owe an inordinate amount of money in taxes.

I'm trying to find money for grad school.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Me to Liam: What's your name?
Brody: Don't tell him, mommy. It's HIS responsibility to know.
"This is my brother. Isn't he cute?"
Brody, introducing Liam to his first grade class.
Brody told me he saw my dad on a Friday, that my dad was behind him & he saw little circles of him in the sunlight. My dad passed away in 1989. Brody said that now he knows my dad has always been with him, & when Brody's with me, my dad is with us too. ♥
Brody thanked the flight crew for a nice ride as we exited the aircraft- they then called him back on so he could go in the cockpit, and then let him use the microphone to say "Hi mom!" a few times over
the PA system.
"You know what's worse than choking? Putting your head on fire."
I was having a bad hair day so I put on a baseball cap. At which point Brody said, "You look like a stranger. The kind of stranger who takes kids."

Once Brody explained, "I'm lucky, mommy. To make 4, I just hold up all my fingers, cause I only -have- 4 fingers. You guys have to hold your thumbs down to make 4. So that's why -I'm-lucky."

Friday, September 7, 2012

Cleaning house

I am just dreadful at cleaning house. I see all the time these articles and blogs and schedules on how to do it. And ... I can't. I don't. I won't. I refuse? It's so overwhelming to me. Am I doing it right? Enough? It's impossible. I feel better equipped to give shots to people.

Same thing with crafts. On pinterest. I got dragged onto pinterest like I did onto Facebook. And what's there? Millions of crafts and meals that are so beyond my attention span...Will I ever, in reality, make my own chalkboard paint or sew my own ombré curtains? Am I less of a person because I didn't make chicken parmesan meatloaf muffins or Santa strawberries?

I fancy myself a good cook, I can make my own bread and my boeuf bourgignon is worthy of a Parisian cafe. But I can't - or won't - make witches' brooms using pretzels sticks.

I also did a Groupon thing at one of those make ahead meal places. I made 15 meals. I froze them. They are supposed to save me time. They only annoyed me. Took up way too much room in the freezer and didn't taste all that great. And weren't very convenient.

I guess my point is this: if something will make my life run smoother, look prettier, or work faster, I'm not interested in it on any level.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I'm back

I guess I needed a break.

A lot has changed.

I went from full time employee to stay at home mom to, now, a part-time work from home mom.

Brody just turned six and is in first grade.

Liam will be 2 in 3 months and, ever since watching the synchronized diving during the Olympics, he likes to "dive" off of anything: steps, chairs, curbs, etc.

Husband got a new, much better paying job.

I still haven't done all the laundry.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thankful: 21, 22 and 23

21. This song and this kid.

22. This time together (my mom and Liam).

23. This email.

Here I come!!!!

DONNA xxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
Sat Feb 181650Depart Detroit(DTW) at 06:55 AM
Arrive in Denver(DEN) at 08:25 AM

Wed Feb 22713Depart Denver(DEN) at 07:25 PM
Arrive in Detroit(DTW) at 12:05 AM

Monday, November 21, 2011

Thankful: 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

15. Strange one: that Brody has renal issues. Why? Because without his renal issues, Liam would not have had a renal ultrasound before he was discharged from the hospital last December, and we would never have discovered (until it was too late?) that Liam had a blood clot on his aorta. Leading to...

16. Lovenox. Yes, I complain about the cost of Lovenox on here a lot. $1600 a month is a bit steep. But damn if it didn't let me have 2 successful pregnancies, and save my youngest son's life. Fact: Lovenox is made from intestinal mucosa of a pig. You can't take it if you are allergic to pork products. Thank you, pigs!

17. Barbara, my oldest sister. Whenever I think I'm being crazy, I think of Barbara, and how she doesn't care what anyone thinks of her, she is just her fabulous, delightfully talkative, laugh out loud self. She is the original cuckoo, and I mean that in the best way.

18. Eric, my brother. I think of him so often lately, since Liam reminds me of him. Liam eating dog food, like Eric did. Liam being musical, like Eric . Eric has had a troubled life at times, battles with alcoholism, but when he plays piano, it is magic. I could listen to him play all day. He has crazy talent.

19. Donna, my middle sister. She is sensitive, kind, nurturing, and a wonderful momma. She's the one who made me that ring a few posts back. She says she is coming to visit in February. I can hope! She is kinda nuts sometimes, but sweetly so.

20. Marilyn, my youngest sister. Brody said it best this weekend when he explained to me that he gets confused about whether Marilyn is my mommy or my sister. She is my caretaker. And she hated me when I was born. I think she still feels guilt for the abuse she heaped upon me. What she does, I usually follow: horse back riding, tennis, jewelry making, moving to Colorado, having 2 sons. Huh. She's a smidge neurotic. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Thankful: 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14.

8. Brodyisms. He’s getting more advanced. This weekend’s may have been my favorite. His nana gave me a geode, the kind you break open with a hammer to reveal the crystals inside? While looking at the crystals, he asked, “You know what’s another name for crystals? Your soul.” And he said the last two words with much gravity and import, and completely serious. Where does he come up with things like this?

And then this morning, when walking into daycare I exclaimed, “Aw man! I forgot Liam’s diapers!” to which Brody replied, “You’re going down, mommy.”

9. The internet. It was google into which I typed “Miscarriage Support” in 2004 and found the Miscarriage Support message board on IVillage,com. Which led me to the Recurrent Miscarriage board. Which led me to Dr. Beer. Which led me to motherhood.

10. Brody’s doctors and surgeons. From Dr. Rothenberg, who did Brody’s first surgery when he was 48 hours old to link up the end of his esophagus to his stomach, and actually told Jeremy that he was excited to do this kind of surgery on Brody since had never done one that small before, to the surgeon, Dr. Doug Hutchinson, who gave Brody thumbs, to our pediatrician, Dr. Jay Markson, who provides laid back, nonplussed yet excellent advice, who has a way with Brody that makes Brody want to see him every time we come downtown.

11. Friends. I am blessed with friends. One or two I’ve known since we were 5 or 6 years old. A few I’ve never met face-to-face. Then some that I am lucky enough to get to see regularly. And most of them, regardless of when I see them, I can call anytime, day or night. They support me, make me laugh, and make me want to be a better version of myself.

12. Cameras. So I can look at pictures of my loved ones when I am at work, and give my hairstylist a picture of what I’d like my hair to look like.

13. My sense of humor. Laughing is the only ab workout I’m likely to do.

14. One piece outfits, including footie pajamas. Something about them is so charmingly delightful. I cannot get enough of Brody, and now Liam, in one piece outfits. If I had my way, Brody would still be in one-piece rompers. I settle for pajamas with feet.