The Shrine is doing mad face at me

By way of review, when Brody had the thumb pollicization in January on his very stubborn right hand, Hutch (surgeon) also re-inserted the rod to make his hand straight, ie, 180 degrees (the rod is drilled/inserted through the ulna from the wrist to the elbow).

Brody's right hand, in particular, is very very tight, and stubborn, and would prefer nothing else than for us to let it grow at a 90 degree angle toward his other hand (which is what all hands do when there is no radius bone in the arm to make them straight).

We say no. We say it must be straight. Or straightish. Three inch longer reach.

So, rod back in when the thumb is moved into place. Hand then 180 degrees. Or, like, 160.

In April, that pin is appearing as a bump near Brody's elbow. During the hospitalization, we check and it's still in the bone, meaning, it's still doing some good. Hutch says leave it as long as possible.

June. Hand starting to win the battle to go back to 90 degrees. Pin a bigger bulge. I email the person at Shriner's hospital - who (whom?) I actually really like - and she doesn't respond.

This week. Brody is now complaining about the pin. Or, rather, his elbow. He keeps whacking it, or rather, the pin. It hurts, and he cries and I don't blame him. Hand back at 90 degrees, pin a bigger bump, but not breaking the skin. (It did this once, last summer. Thank GOD we were in the hospital and Brody was high at the time because Hutch just put on a pair of gloves and extracted it).

I realize I never heard back from Hutch's scheduler.

Email again this morning. She responds. That we can come to the clinic July 22.

Less than 2 weeks away.

Which is great but also, not great. Because I now have the unenviable task of calling Richard, the travel arranger for the local Shrine, and requesting two airline tickets to Salt Lake with less than two weeks notice. I explained the situation and asked if it was possible. He said, "It's possible, of course, but it means we have to pay a lot more money for the tickets." I apologized. He was unmoved.

I don't even blame him for the snark. I agree with him. This is rude and unnecessary. But it's for Brody, so we're doing it. Although yes, it's our fault for not following up sooner. God, what emotion would I have if I didn't have guilt?

And I called our local ortho surgeon. She can't see us before then. It's like an 8 week wait to see her.

Thus, I imagined Richard from the local Shrine was glaring at me not unlike Brody performing his mad face:

Brody also has a happy face, sad face, scared face, surprised face, and silly face. I'm trying to get them all on video because he goes from one to the next seamlessly on command.

Therefore, July 16 - pre surgery consult with the urologist to schedule a surgery for the hypospadias; and

July 22 (hopefully) Brody and I fly to Salt Lake to have the damn pin removed before it breaks skin and we have a co$tly trip to an ER; and get a further surgical plan on how to re-re-straighten the right hand.

Hello 4 digits

1001.

Oh, wait, 1006.

Those are the votes we have so far. In 3 days.

The internet is a powerful tool. Facebook too. My friends who are helping publicize this? Sublime. Even if we don't win a thing, this has been a very humbling and heartwarming experience.

In truth, I'm starting to feel like a bit of a shit. Dante's mom put it on her carepages and her facebook. An online friend who has a son Brody's age and whose husband has ALS put it on their carepage, and emailed everyone in her contact book. It floors me. Both of them deserve this more than me. If we win, we can pick a different vacation. I want to pick a bigger house and invite them to stay with us.

Thank you to everyone who is forwarding emails and putting this link on their blogs and voting. I keep telling Jeremy our new number. He says not to get my hopes up. I'm not. Well, not really. But checking on the number is addictive.

I wonder if people are reading or just clicking on the button. I kind of love to think that people are reading, and that at the very least we are spreading awareness about Vacterl association and recurrent pregnancy loss.

Here is the link.

1011.

Brodyisms and vacation contest update(!!!)

Update no. 2 to the vacation contest: we have 647 votes!!!!

I'm stunned. We are so lucky. Thank you!

Click here to read our entry. To vote, click on the red vote button at the bottom of the page.

And yes, please link to that site, this blog, send emails, etc. Everyone in the world has my permission to forward the link to their friends and family and thank you thank you thank you!

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Brody is a skinny kid. We let him eat Happy Meals. He loves french fries. We drive by a McDonald's every day from school. He asks for it almost every day (he doesn't get it).

However, Brody's name for McDonald's is Old McDonalds, like the song he sings. As in, "Mommy, I want Old McDonalds. I want french fries, and ketchup, and ranch, and lemonade."

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Driving home one recent evening.

The full moon was in the sky.

B: Mommy, dere's da moon!

C: Yup, there it is. I see it too.

B: Mommy, da moon following us. Look!

C: (looking) You know what? It IS following us!

B: Da moon coming wit me. Da moon my friend.

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Driving in the mountains at dusk.

C: Ok, baby, remember to look out for animals. This is the time of day the deer come out.

B: (looking out the window) I looking. I don't see dem, mommy.

C: Keep looking, sweetie.

B: I yike deer. I wanna be a deer.

C: You wanna be a deer?

B: Yeah. I yike a deer. Be one.

C: That's wonderful, sweetie.

B: I wanna ride a deer.

C: Oh, like Santa? You want to ride a deer like Santa?

B: Yeah, like Santa. I yike Santa. He's my favorite boy.

C: He is nice. Who is your favorite girl?

B: (pause) YOU my favorite girl, mommy.

C: Thank you, Brody. You're my favorite boy.

What about Daddy?

B: He my favorite too.

(Later that night).........................

C: Who is your favorite girl?

B: (looking at me like I'm crazy) I'm NOT a GIRL, mom-meeeeeee!!!!!

C: No, no. Who is your favorite girl?

B: (insulted that I am so stupid and horrified that I don't know his gender) MOMMY! I'm NOT a GIRL!!!!! I'M a BOY!!!!!!!

C: (laughing uncontrollably) Honey, I know you are a boy. You are a big boy.

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The terrible two's have struck. We do time outs. It's rough.

When the time out is done, I say "Okay, Brody, you are done with your time out."He'll say, "No! I wanna stay in time out!!! Leave me alone!"

Sometimes we let him. But sometimes he looks so sad, like he doesn't know what to do with all of his grouchy feelings. After the time out, and the Brody-imposed time out, I have gone up to him and talked with him. I want him to know that I'm not mad, that we are friends. So I have said to him, "Brody and mommy are friends, honey. Can I have a hug now?" We hug and he's back to happy Brody.

Lately, however, when he cries during the first minute of the 2 minute time out, he says pitifully, "Mommy, I don't wanna time out! Mommy!!! I wanna be friends!!!!"

Let's just say he is very effective at manipulation. It breaks my heart. I tell him that we are friends, and I love him, but he needs a time out to collect himself.

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At the end of the day, when the three of us are together, we ask Brody how his day was. He now asks us first, and repeats exactly how we say our day was.

For example,

J: How was your day, buddy?

B: Good. I hadda bizzy day. Reeewee bizzy day. How yer day daddy?

J: My day was good. I worked hard.

B: Yeah, I work hard too. Bizzy day. I play outside, I play dolls, I play circle time. . . I play outside......

Urgent and shameless

I entered the vacation contest, remember?

The voting has begun.

Please vote. Click here and then click on the red button at the bottom of the page. Click from many different computers. Forward the link to everyone you know and beg them to vote for me. See what I mean about shameless? I want that vacation.

More news to follow.

Seven years

Seven years ago today, I married my husband. We had a perfect day for an outdoor wedding in Colorado.

We wrote our own ceremony, including our vows. We did not share our vows with each other until the moment we said them to each other. I remember our minister showed up and said that I had never emailed him the vows. Of course I had. My maid of honor helped me to reconstruct them.

I remember my mom looking at me and saying "You look just beautiful," and getting misty eyed. My mom is a hard woman, at times, and for her to both compliment me unreservedly and get misty eyed was a Big Moment for me.

My favorite part of any wedding is not looking at the bride, but watching the groom as the bride walks down the aisle and seeing his face. I could not wait to walk down the aisle. My mom was escorting me, since my dad had passed away in 1989. She had to actually physically hold me back and whispered "slow down" after we started. I did. Then I looked at Jeremy. I didn't look away or at anyone or anything else (at least, not that I remember).

This is the place we were married. We crossed the little bridge and the ceremony was on the other side.

We faced each other throughout the whole ceremony, holding both hands, and grinning like fools at each other. He squeezed my hands repeatedly. He actually misted too, when we said our vows. I, of course, very nearly wept openly. He mouthed "I love you" to me during the ceremony repeatedly, and I blew kisses to him in return. And then when we kissed, he placed his hands on either side of my face and we kissed. Really kissed. I have a frame at home of five different angles of that kiss that our friends and family sent to me after. I have that kiss framed from almost every angle.

Since then, we've had, between us, four different jobs, one incredible and near-perfect honeymoon, one vacation to Kauai, three dogs, five miscarriages (one after Brody was born), and our greatest achievement and blessing, our beautiful son. I don't know how many fights we've had since then, but I know we've made up one more time than the number of those fights. We've waited through 12 surgeries and three hospitalizations for Brody, sometimes together, and sometimes apart. We've cried together, been in marriage counseling together, contemplated bankruptcy and losing our home together, laughed at inappropriate things together, made each other giggle uncontrollably, ranted and raved to each other about the world and its complete lack of regard for fairness at times. We've sat side by side and gave 10 vials of blood at once to find out why we could not have a child. We traveled to a foreign country to have a medical procedure that would make it so we could have a child. We've campaigned for Obama together, imitated each other's most deplorable habits, cared for each other through colds and flus and hangovers, celebrated our personal achievements and victories together, read with pride each other's glowing job evaluations, grown up into adulthood together, become parents together, annoyed the hell out of each other and loved each other for seven years.

Marriage is more work than we ever thought it would be on June 29, 2002. I cannot believe how naive we were about marriage, and life in general. But marriage has also become much more satisfying and means much more than we thought it would too.

Happy Anniversary to my handsome, creative, impossibe, beautiful husband.

A free offer

Obviously, by Monday I really meant by Wednesday. See? I'm on time.

Now for the free offer....

A few months ago, after I wrote the announcement, I received an email from a man at Silkfair. I had never heard of Silkfair, but he found my blog one night and was moved by the post that he read. He offered to do some amazing things for the Five Skies Foundation (working title) through Silkfair as far as promoting the nonprofit on their site (and I will take him up on that hopefully very soon).

At any rate, after my Medicaid debacle, I received another email from yet another Silkfair employee. How awesome are these people? Offering help to strangers.

Let me explain Silkfair and then tell you about what the first 50 readers of this post are going to be able to receive.

Silkfair is like Ebay or Etsy, but better, more functional, more user-friendly, and, here is the really good part, cheaper.

The latest way to sell anything is by using Silkfair's new selling tool, the "Silkfair Custom Shop."

The Custom Shop was created to address some basic needs in the market: to give sellers the leverage to retain and promote their brands (instead of sending their fans to third party sites).
For those online sellers that are put off by, or simply cannot afford, the cost of selling on eBay or Etsy (with listing fees, etc.), Silkfair is a cost-friendly alternative for setting up shop online. They are also making use of the eBay and Etsy import tools to easily move their stores without disruption or tech hassle.

This new tool is priced monthly at $24.99 and NO commission or listing fees. It is essentially doing for e-commerce today what Google's Blogger.com has done for the public blogosphere -- making it super-simple and affordable for anyone to do it. And making it personal. Compare two shops: one using regular Silkfair, and the other using the Custom Shop.

Here is the free part. Silkfair is graciously offering two months FREE Custom Shops for the first 50 readers who respond to the offer.

That's a $50 value. And that's not including the money you will make for selling your knitting projects, photography, jewelry, vintage items in your home, paintings, collectibles, hand made stationery, baby items, etc.

Lest you think I'm being hoodwinked, here is what some other people have had to say about the greatness that is Silkfair: an ebay alternative that shines; lauding the custom shop (and offering a deal not nearly as FREE as the one they are offering to us); and an article in the Wall Street Journal.

To get the 2 months free offer, here is the coupon that you'll need when you sign up:

* Coupon code : launch09pub* Set to Expire: on 7/16/2009* Redemption Qty Limit : none* Subscription plan name : Risk-free Intro Special #1 * Details of plan : First 2 months free, thereafter at regular price $24.99

The coupon code is also set to expire by 7/16, and it's without quantity limit for redemptions. When you sign up for the custom shop, you will see 2 plans presented, and a coupon code field with a "Show Hot Deals" button. Yoou need to key in the coupon code, and then click Submit, and that will show you the 2 months free plan to be selected.

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Here is a step-by-step instruction for signup :

1. User selects "Start Up" button from Silkfair homepage Custom Shop banner.

2. Register on Non-non Member if no account yet on Silkfair.

3. Click "OK" on the pop-up window notification reminding user to click on email verification in their InBox.

4. Click "Yes" to 'Create your shop. Do you have anything to sell?"

5. Enter credit card information on the 'Seller Identification Verification' pop-up window, and save.

6. Click "Yes" to 'Do you want Custom Shop?'

7.Select a template

8.Enter a coupon code. Authorization and subscription goes through.

9.Congratulations! Your custom shop is now ready.
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Thank you Silkfair and Mona and Andy. Any questions, post them in the comments and I bet they will answer.

And yes, I'm setting up my own Custom Shop to sell the jewelry I make. That will, naturally, deserve its own blog post.

Randoms

~~I got a voicemail from our - get this - Medicaid case worker. Who is sending us a letter saying that we have Medicaid coverage to give to the doctors. I'll believe it when I see it. But I'm so very hopeful.

~~I've gotten a wonderful offer from a person who reads this blog. I will post it Monday. It's an offer for all of my readers (!) too. Something free. I adore free. (Hi Mona!)

~~Today I looked up the difference between capital and capitol; and I researched when minutes were invented. Answer to the second? Mesopotamia. Who knew? Well, obviously someone.

~~Except for Sarah, no one has sent me their address for the free stuff. Here's a hint: it's jewelry. Email me your addresses (through my profile). Rebecca, Tiffany, Jacque, Jess - this means you! And anyone else.

~~If you google "Sugarplum Swank," this blog is the very first thing that comes up. And pretty much the only thing that comes up. If you google Brody, this site doesn't come up at all. But, if you google "bilateral radial club hands" and "Vacterl," this blog is on the first page of google results.

~~June 29 is our 7th wedding anniversary. We asked my mother-in-law to take Brody overnight on the Saturday before, and she agreed. Then she offered to take him overnight Friday and Saturday. I am on the fence. Please advise. Could I be away from him for a whole weekend?

~~Brodyism: "I'm a big boy, but little too."

~~Sometimes Brody will ask me to stay in his room at night. Once, I was so tired I offered, "Mommy's got to go bed, sweetie. You want my shirt?" I figured maybe the smell of mommy would be worth something. He said yes, and now, sometimes, he asks for my (night) shirt to be put on him like his blankie. It melts my heart when he says that, and then to see him cuddle my shirt smiling and asleep.... it is one of the better things I've witnessed.

~~ I worked late one night this week, and didn't get home until 8pm. Instead of finding my husband and son reading books, with Brody dressed in PJs and washed and ready for bed, I came home to the two of them watching one of those insufferable reality dance shows and perfecting their own dance routine, which included a Dirty Dancing style of lift, and something that Brody called a twist jump. It was awesome.

~~Two friends of mine, two friends who have saved me a lot, are having awful news come at them this week; heartbreaking news. I don't know how to help. Please keep them in your thoughts and, if you pray, your prayers too.